For the past few months, I have been faced with the problem of waking up and not knowing what I am going to do with my day. I wake up without a clear purpose in mind. I know that there are many things I could do to fill up my time – my to-do-list is a few chapters long, but none of them motivate or make me happy. I feel that as if I spent my energy doing these things I would be wasting my energy, as if I had spent money on food that I don’t like and won’t eat, and will end up throwing it away in the garbage.
Yet here I am, waiting for something to happen that would change all this. I know I am supposed to be out there looking for what makes me burn on the inside with drive and passion, but I am not sure where to begin.
If I had to sum all that I am feeling at the moment, I would say this: I feel like I am missing a little magic in my life.
I think what it really is that, with time, I have gravitated away from the activities that interest me and help me stay balanced. For example, writing. I have maintained a blog for five years throughout the university. It had helped me stay focused through those years and find a way deal with daily challenges. I had also met like-minded people who validated my ideas and opinions of the world, which shut out possible doubts that could have brought me down during tough times.
The other activity I used to regularly is a search for new music. Indie rock, instrumentals, pop, orchestral anything that captured me and sent my mind on wild pensive and reflective journeys. It was a great way for my conscious to flex, bend, stretch and relax. I had also, kept a visual blog of pictures that inspired me and helped me visualize myself, and the future I wanted.
All this began to slowly fade away when I had set out to start a different chapter of my life. I wanted a well-paying job that suited my natural affinities of leadership, productivity, and continuous improvement. I got it. I also wanted true love, marriage, and a family. I got two and currently working on the third.
In a way, I guess, now that I am here, I feel uninspired. Yeah, that’s it…
Yeah, that’s it…
I have a few plans in mind that I think will help me get to where I would like to and rebalance. One; is this blog. I would like to write again and find my focus and balance by giving me my troubles and anxiety structured comprehensible words. This way I know what to tackle and where to begin to fix the situation. I am also hoping to meet and connect with like-minded people through it. Two; I have a book review blog (www.theeunoiajournal.com) through which I will review advanced copies of business and nonfiction that could interest women like me. Three, I am starting up my own editing & writing business on the side (www.lighthouseediting.net) through which I can practice the two things I enjoy and mentioned earlier, and have a second stream of income that, along with some savings, can help me explore my career comfortably and not be afraid to point of being stuck in a job I hate because I need to pay the bills. I have a big dream for this last one, that one day I will perhaps share and clearly lay out a plan for in the future.
My goal is to get some these projects and dreams going and have an outlet through which I can recenter myself and always stay balanced and inspired.
This long overdue blog post is certainly a step in the right direction.
Have a great Saturday.