When something wrong is going on in my life, I become a recluse and I refuse to let anyone in until things get better. I think this is because:
1/ I think when people ask me what’s wrong it’s because they’re curious more than they are interested in helping. In other words, I doubt their intentions.
2/ I don’t think people can actually help (although there’s been rare occasions where I’ve been wrong).
3/ I don’t want my interactions with people to be built or, worse, start off on gloomy and negative grounds. I’d like my relationships or friendships to be created while I am at my best. So that my judgement calls are sound, my decisions are reasonable and that I am not being misguided by some gloomy storm passing by. I also don’t want to hurt people in any way as a consequence of my uneasy state of mind. So I retreat and disappear until I work things out.
Despite of how many people perceive it, it’s never been because I think I can figure things out on my own and I never need help. I know I can get helpless and completely vulnerable. I know the limits of my strength and the boundaries of my character. It’s just that it becomes a situation of damage control and need to know only, because I don’t want to get many people involved, I don’t want to trouble people who have nothing to do with it, and I can never stop being so practical even at the worst of times so I seek the help of those who can provide the help I need. When all fails, I take refuge in Mother Nature and listen carefully to my instincts.
Seldom, I get blessed with princes(ses) in shining armors on white horses who can tell something’s up and help me out despite me not asking, and to those people I will always be grateful.