I love my family very much. They’re truly good people, and they’ve done so much for me when I needed them and when I didn’t. It’s been a rough patch for all of us the past couple of years. Recently there’s been lots of unpleasant friction between my family and I, and I believe it’s time to go. I don’t think it’s their fault, it’s just…we’ve been through some really difficult times and I don’t think they know how to cope in the same way I can. I allow myself to take a lot of heat because I know how to deal with difficult situations better than they do. It’s always been clear to them that most of what I do and strive for, it’s for them, but in order for me to achieve what I aspire to, I need a better environment. I, now, need some space. Sometimes, too much negativity can hold you back, and I am too young to be held back right now. The only downfall I see is the loneliness that is bound to come with it. I am very fond and close to my family, and it will be heart-retching (for all of us I imagine) for me to get away from them.
As a result, I’ve been looking for opportunities to move out of the province recently and seek new challenges. Moving further away will also put a strain on my current relationship. I haven’t talked to Ben (or anyone else in fact) about this yet, I don’t know he’d take it. It’s too early anyways, I only started thinking about very recently. I am set on it, but there’s nothing definitive in sight yet.
I’d like to move somewhere east with colder weather. I’ve been looking at Alberta a lot, perhaps BC too. Toronto would be an ideal first baby step, but it’s a difficult city to live in, albeit my love for it so much. I’d have to talk about this to a couple of friends who live in those areas to see what it’s like and what I can do.
We’ll see. If the situation doesn’t change, the move should happen in about two years minimum, but I better begin looking around just to be ready and informed.