It bothers me when I see people lose themselves in a relationship. When becoming an item costs them being an individual. Most of the time it’s one-sided, when a man or a woman tries so hard to become what their significant other wishes them to be. I can’t even imagine the amount of discomfort that would cause them.
Or maybe they are happy this way, I don’t know. Perhaps, the thought of being alone is far scarier to them than losing their identity. Perhaps, they don’t know who to be and so having someone else tell them makes life easier.
Perhaps, I know nothing of relationships…
I know I couldn’t possibly do it. Yeah, I will engage in their interests, hear out their opinions, and accommodate some of their needs, but there is a line. It’s usually the line where I would have to fundamentally change in order to please them. The line where my freedom of thought and being is compromised. I don’t think I would ever allow anyone to influence me in such a way. I have to be my own person in a relationship, otherwise it’s going to be hell for the both of us.
Now, there is a price for an attitude like this. I have people who mistake my independence and autonomy for a desire to dominate and control. So, I get those who:
* love to make a challenge out of it
* love to passively give up all leadership and place all relationship responsibilities on me
* think that I am never in need of an emotional connection and affection and so they don’t even bother investing in that aspect, or end up establishing it with someone else.
If I had to pick the one I dislike the most….well, I dislike all of them! Because they all base their interactions with me on invalid assumptions and perceptions that has to do more with them than it does with me.
None of my relationship experiences were satisfying, and none of the ones I see couples around me having look like anything I would want.
You know what? At least, I have an amazing family and I love what I do in life. :]